...8/23/06

So it's almost two years now that my dad has been gone and it still feels like it was yesterday! I just remember that Wednesday I left work and was heading to the apt to get ready for our softball game and then I get the phone call to hurry to my house. I knew something was wrong because I called my husband to tell him I was going to be late and was ranting and raving about it but he was like just go home don't worry. I then was speeding home and calling my mom sister and dads cell phone. Then I get home to my aunt on my deck and I was like what is going on silly me though rob was going to ask me to marry him but no the worst news of my life. I fell to the floor in my kitchen and just screamed I wanted to run away I wanted to go back to that 4pm while I was still at work and happy. Yes I know it is a part of life and I know everyone deals with this someday but I was 23 when I lost my daddy and I am 25 now married with a baby. Death is a different experience for everyone but the void in the heart is the same. My dad missed a lot of important things these past two years marriages and babies. The thing that gets me is my son or my other kids I will eventually have will never meet him. He would have been such a great grandpa and I just wish he was here to be a grandpa. Its such a hard time right now and the tears are just coming at any giving time of the day. :-(